February 23, 2017 by Ray Yanek
I feel like shit.
I’m not sick. I’ve escaped (so far, knock-on-wood) the flus, colds, and other viruses traipsing around an abnormally warm February. But still, my head is foggy, my focus is non-existent, and I literally could not write more than two consecutive sentences this morning without my mind floating to the outer-limits.
I’m sluggish. Exhausted. Motivation is not to be had.
My stomach feels like a bombed-out wasteland. I’m on the verge of heartburn which I’ve gotten only a handful of times over my life. I’m bloated and uncomfortable.
My body aches. My joints feel stiff, my muscles fatigued.
I’m a wreck.
Maybe I’m just getting old.
Or perhaps it’s because of my workouts, because of the intensity and strain of Crossfit. I took Monday off, but other than that, I’ve been going rather hard at it. I can’t remember the last time I missed a workout before that.
Or possibly it’s because I’ve been doing these guided meditations first thing in the morning for the last couple of weeks, meditations that ask you to center yourself in your body, to scan your body, to feel the sensations.
Or conceivably, it’s because of the writing and the stress that comes with that. It’s hard to juggle being and a parent and a husband and a teacher and an adult and a semi-coach with reaching my writing goals. But I’ve been managing to put out a respectable amount of work.
More than likely, it’s all of this things…
Maybe, because of the physical demands of Crossfit and the mental demands of writing, my body is demanding better care.
Perhaps the centering effects of the meditation have helped me see the deficiencies and to hear the need in these aches and discomforts.
It’s my body, I understand, telling me that if I want it to do all of the things I now demand of it–if I want my body to perform and my mind to run clear and sharp and creative–I need the proper nutrition.
For the last two weeks, I’ve slid back into old eating patterns. I haven’t meal prepped. I haven’t eaten at the proper times. I haven’t eaten the proper foods. Pizza has been a mainstay. I’ve probably drank more beer and diet soda than water.
And my body is having none of it.
Old, shitty habits, my body is telling me, will not power a new, more powerful life.
I’d better listen….