January 24, 2017 by Ray Yanek
So– the stillness. I find very little of it anymore.
The quiet. It’s fleeting.
But we have two children **DAD! I’M HUNGRY!**–a teenager and a boy in sixth grade, which is close enough to high **DAD!** school Stillness and quiet is something **YOU JUST ATE A POUND OF FREAKIN’ HAMBURGER!!** foreign to them.
They’re phones make noise constantly. Pings and chimes signal messages and requests and instagrams and **DAD! THE DOG JUST PUKED ON THE WINDOW** snapchats. My son talks into headphones while things blow up on the TV screen. My daughter constantly has **DAD! THE INTERNET SUCKS!** Netflix on one **FIX IT!** TV or another.
Anymore, I’m not much better. What used to be my favorite time of the weeknight **DAMN IT RAY!! YOU THREW (pick any random female garment) INTO THE DRYER!!!** was the time I got to spend in the kitchen making supper, in my own little cocoon of semi-silence. Now though, the quiet **BARK!!** seems **MEOW!** odd. I turn on the small TV on top of the fridge and watch *DAD! THE DOG IS SNIFFING THE CAT’S ASS AGAIN!!** some of the ghost hunting shows I record **HISS!** or something good **YIPE!** on the Discovery or History Channel.
The stillness. Those moments of calm.
The space **DAD! HE WON’T GIVE ME THE REMOTE!** where sometimes you can hear the voice of God **DAMMIT! RAY!**, where the jumble of thoughts can **DAD! THE INTERNET!!!** unravel into generally straight lines is hard to come by in my world. Probably in **WHO HID MY DAMN CAR KEYS?** everyone’s world.
The stillness. *AND MY SHAVING CREAM?* The calm. The peace.
Meditation. I’ve heard many people **WHY ARE YOU GUYS ALWAYS HIDING MY SHIT??…. oh, uh, nevermind. Found it….** on TV and in the “How to Make 2017 Into The Best Year Ever!” Facebook posts, say is one of the most valuable and healthy things we can do for our state of mind in a hectic, modern world.
I don’t doubt that it is healthy and good. I’ve always wanted to try it. I’ve thought about going and hiding out in **I NEED A HAIRBRUSH!** the bathtub and giving it **I HAVE TO POOP!** a try and hopefully **REALLY BAD!!!** not falling into a trance and drowning myself, but I know, as soon as I do, the SWAT team will come **MY GOD! HIS SHOES SMELL LIKE BUTT!!** pounding on the door– and it will be the exact opposite **MOM! WHY DID YOU POST THAT???** of relaxation.
Sometimes, on Facebook, **I HAD TACOS YESTERDAY!!** you got those memories of old posts and photos “DAMMIT!! DID YOU DRINK THE REST OF THE WINE?” that you posted. Every now and then I get a pic back of those kids–and even the dog and the cat–and sometimes I don’t recognize them.
Then I think that soon, there ** HOLD ON! SOMEONE IS WALKING A DOG OUTSIDE!**will be plenty of **GET READY FOR IT!!**time for me to meditate.
**ARF!! BARK!! ARF!! ARF!! ARF!! BARK!! ARF!! GROWL! BARK!! ARF!!**
For now though, maybe I should just learn **DON’T SAY IT!** how to do the laundry **I’LL CUT YOU…**
And I should probably run out and get another bottle of wine…