Why I’m Grateful for Anthrax


February 9, 2012 by Ray Yanek


I do it. A lot.  I love it.  A lot.  Books are an escape that doesn’t lead to trouble; they allow me to travel when my wallet won’t, and they help me learn things about people without actually having to interact with them.  The majority of my day revolves around the written word now.

Courtesy of Sarunya-foto

And I love that.

Sometimes I think about moments–those moments that  pass in flashing seconds and those that ease so subtly through the background you hardly notice.  Those moments amaze me, scare me too, that can become so monumental.

A collection of moments taught me to love and value the written word.  One moment though, only one, almost took that love away.

Had it not been for Anthrax I may have lost that love of reading back in high school, back in that time where young people tend to lose a lot of good things about themselves.

*            *            *

I don’t remember much about my childhood.  I don’t remember if my mom read me bedtime stories, but I do remember seeing her read.  Every night in fact, or anytime she had a free moment.

I was an inquisitive child, consumed with curiosity.  What was so fantastic, I wondered,  between those covers adorned with men and women who wore less clothing than I did at that age?

I wanted to know.  I needed to know.

Later, I remember books in my room. Lots of books.  Books with pictures.  Books with only words.  Books with comic strips.  I read them all, lost myself in them and became quite pissed when those books would come to an end.

So I started to write my own continuations.  But that’s a story, a moment maybe, for another time.

*            *            *

I met Gary Gygax one Christmas—the guy that created Dungeons and Dragons.  Yes, that guy.  And no, I don’t live in my mom’s basement.  I moved out when I got married, so screw-you… twice.

Gary Gygax wasn’t actually under my tree, just the Dungeon and Dragons basic rule set.  I remember still, ripping the paper away to reveal the shiny red box with a knight and a dragon fixin’ to mortally mess one another up on the top.  I was hooked, not so much on the game itself, but on the books.  I read those books over and over, my imagination swirling with hurricane-force speeds.

Even though I didn’t actually play the game a whole lot, I eventually moved to the advanced set.  I mean, the books were thicker and there were many, many more of them. Why wouldn’t I?

The magic in those books wasn’t just imaginary.

I created character-after-character, drew map-after- map, designed caste-after-castle.  I ran adventures and stories through my mind continuously until the books fell apart.  My worlds, however, never did.

Not until high school.  Not until my misplaced priorities led me to put those books away.  Doing that is one of my biggest regrets.

But even though I closed the lid on those worlds, I never forgot the treasures in those books.

Had it not been for Gary Gygax and Dungeons and Dragons, I might not ever have picked up The Hobbit.  Had I not picked up The Hobbit, I may never had sat in my living room holding both my son and daughter when they began to sob after Frodo told Sam to go home, that he would finish the journey alone, on the TV in front of us.


*           *            *

Those same misplaced priorities eventually led me to put my other books away too and to follow other paths.

But thankfully, Anthrax brought me back home.

When I say Anthrax, I don’t mean the stuff that crazies try to send in the mail.  I’m talking about Anthrax, the thrash-metal 80’s band.

Yes, I was a metal-head. I wore concert shirts, had long hair and Dave Mustaine’s autograph on a pack of Marlboro Red’s.

I had cassettes and then CD’s, most of which never had a case. I was an inquisitive teen-aged metal head, and   I tore those cases apart, unfolded the cassette liners or fanned open the CD booklets and read those liners until they eventually got lost under my bed, or in my car, or vanished into that magical place where one sock of the pair always seems to.

If those liners had the lyrics, you might not see me for days. (If they didn’t have lyrics, I would sit with my ear to the speakers, a pen and paper on my lap, and listen to the songs over and over until I transcribed the lyrics myself).  I even read the acknowledgments and all the people (and substances) those bands thanked.

Then one day I read the lyrics to a song I particularly enjoyed, a song called “Among the Living”.  It wasn’t so much the music I liked, but rather the catchy chorus:

“I’m the Walkin’ Dude

             I can see all of world.

             Twist your mind with fear

            I’m the man with the power

           Among the living, follow me or die.” (you can hear the whole song here…if you’re brave)

In those same liner notes, I learned that the Walkin’ Dude was based on Randall Flagg.  I also learned that Randall Flagg was the bad guy in a book by Stephen King called The Stand.

The next day, I drove back to the bookstore with my head bowed and my Metallica hat in my hands like the prodigal son. There was no looking back.

I no longer listen to metal.  Those CD’s are long gone.  I don’t have the songs on my I-pod, but a part of me remembers that song.

A deep part that sometimes whispers “I’m the man with the power.”

*            *            *

My subconscious, I imagine, taps its foot to the rhythm of that song as it sits for a cup of tea with Gary Gygax’s dragons.  Sometimes I feel them look at me sideways, a glint in their eyes, the dragon’s lips curling back into a smile.

Just remember, the look suggests, misplace those priorities again and we’ll be ready to tangle.

I smile back.  Don’t bother with an answer.  I go out to the living room instead and listen to my son read his first books out loud.


9 thoughts on “Why I’m Grateful for Anthrax

  1. Stuart says:

    Anthrax? Well, I can’t say much… But Anthrax, really?

  2. Oh. Oh.

    I wrote a very short post about what books mean to me (and my 2yo son) last week, but this. This is word magic.

    Thank you for letting me experience your reading journey.

  3. Nancy Rodenski says:

    Pleasantly brilliant.

  4. JSell says:

    You know Ray, once the kids get a little older and you get a little less busy (unlikely as that is), it’s never to late to get back into the game, even if being a 40 year old D&D fan does make you a little weird. Just saying. 😉

  5. Steeven Orr says:

    First, great post, I found a lot of similarities to my life with books.

    Second, Among the Living is not only a great song, it’s a great album . . . h, the memories.

    It’s funny, I heard the song before I read the book, but I wasn’t one who read through the liner notes on a cassette, so I never knew that the song was about the book . . . until I read the book.

    I clearly remember reading the Stand and reading the first time someone refers to Randall Flagg as the Walkin’ Dude. I read the words, and in my mind I heard Anthrax: “I’m the Walkin’ Dude.”

    It was then that I dug the tape out and read through the liner notes and realized that the song was about the book.

    Thanks for the post, you made me feel all nostalgic and stuff.

  6. Brandon says:

    Very interesting! I always catch myself wondering what other music has lyrics based on books and characters. Seems you only hear about it through trivia cards, but I know they do it.

    Pretty cool post.

  7. Ray Yanek says:

    Thanks for the replies!

    And yes, Stuart. Anthrax.

    Steve and Brandon–there were a host of other Anthrax songs based on Stephen King stories: “Misery Love Company” based on Misery obviously. Another song based on the short story “Apt Pupil” but I can’t remember the name of that one. I’m sure there were others that I’m forgetting about.

    Oh, and of course there was “I Am the Law” based on the comic character Judge Dredd…way before Stallone played him in the movie.

    Thanks again for the comments!

    • Steeven Orr says:

      Ray- Re: I Am the Law … I always felt they should have used that song for the movie. Oh well, they have another on the way, so hope springs eternal.

      The song about Apt. Pupil was something about Skeletons. I could look it up, I mean, I have the world’s largest encyclopedia at my finger tips . . . but I’m lazy 🙂

      • Ray Yanek says:

        Yeah, if we can’t remember the title, it must not have been that good of a song anyway…you know, not worth knocking ourselves out over and clicking more buttons. lol.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 1,407 other followers

%d bloggers like this: